


That Sound

by Slurpingseawater



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2D is a Sweetheart, 2doc Week (Gorillaz), Angst and Feels, Don't @ Me, I know El Manana isn't from Plastic Beach, M/M, Mutual Pining, References to Plastic Beach, Sad Murdoc Niccals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24516715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slurpingseawater/pseuds/Slurpingseawater
Summary: Written for 2doc week (though I'm actually a day late). The prompt: Favorite Gorillaz lyrics. Oneshot.Murdoc wallows in angst over his relationship with 2D.
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals & Stuart "2D" Pot, Murdoc Niccals/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	That Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe in time, you'll want to be mine.

It always ended up like this.

Sprawled out on his bed, still in his day clothes, a bottle of rum in his hand. The light of early morning only beginning to claw over the horizon, reaching with its long fingers to shine through the window. Another sleepless night spent thinking about _him_.

Murdoc peered past heavy eyelids at the ceiling. Only now, mere hours from dawn, did his body open itself up to the possibility of sleep. Yet he laid still, his heart too loud in his chest, forbidding his eyes to slip closed. He didn’t deserve sleep, he thought. He didn’t deserve rest.

 _That sound_. He hated that sound. It never stopped, try as he might to make it. His heart continued to beat in his chest, the rhythm haunting him, making his skin crawl. Maybe that was why he sought music every waking moment, to drown out that horrid sound. Any beat to disrupt that incessant sequence, any bassline to resonate deeper. Any voice to sing over it.

He took another swig of the rum, the liquid searing a trail through his esophagus. He wasn’t drunk; enough time had passed that the alcohol’s effects had worn off, leaving regret and a headache in their place. That happened on occasion, when he drank too slowly to pass out. Usually, it was because he was thinking of a certain singer.

Stuart Pot. The bane of Murdoc’s existence, and yet the reason he was still alive _to_ exist. Something the dullard had said had gotten to Murdoc’s head again, though he couldn’t recall it after his night of debauchery. He’d made sure of that much.

It was something about Plastic Beach—that horrible period in their relationship when 2D had gone from being his friend to his prisoner. It had seemed necessary at the time, but now that he was distant enough from that state of mind, he could see how much he’d lost it. Thinking back on it scared him, made him question if that person still existed inside of him, still lurked beneath the surface of his composure.

Of course, he’d always been a _little_ afraid of himself; that was nothing new. He used to like that about himself, the fact that even _he_ couldn’t comprehend the inner workings of his brain. Even to himself, he was unpredictable. What would set him off was just as much a mystery to him as it was to anyone else.

And 2D, the moron, was always trying to figure him out. Of course Murdoc would push him away whenever he tried that; if _he_ couldn’t figure himself out, what gave 2D the right? More than that, though, the prospect of _anyone_ having that kind of power over him scared the shit out of Murdoc.

The worst times were when 2D got too close to the truth; when that happened, Murdoc had no choice but to subvert the pattern or beat the answer out of his head. The poor dullard already had so much brain damage; it wasn’t hard to make him forget.

No matter how many times Murdoc beat him, though, 2D always came back. He always managed to slip through the cracks in Murdoc’s walls. It was almost as if he knew how close he was to Murdoc’s heart, and how much Murdoc secretly wanted to let him in.

Murdoc liked to pretend he had all the power in the relationship, but in truth, it terrified him how much he depended on 2D.

That was why, even after they’d seemed to have passed through the worst of their relationship, Murdoc was still apprehensive. He was still so afraid that 2D would figure him out, he never stopped to wonder if that would be such a bad thing.

Regardless of his reservations, Murdoc had found himself drifting closer to the singer of late. 2D’s presence, his natural charisma and optimism, was somehow healing. His body craved it, and when he went without it for too long, punished him for it. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised; he always _had_ been prone to addiction.

In turn, 2D had grown somewhat distant since Plastic Beach. Murdoc couldn’t blame him, of course, but it still hurt. They could never be as close as they’d once been. There would always be this distance between them, this knowledge that nothing could change what happened between them. All that was left was to move forward.

_Yeah, well. Easier said than done._

Murdoc sat up, the contents of his stomach shifting uncomfortably. He turned to look out the window. The dawn crept ever closer, and Murdoc turned his back to it. Sleep stilled his restless mind, plunging him into a comfortable void.

* * *

“Muds?”

_You can’t keep me in here, Murdoc!_

“Muds, it’s me.”

_Please. Please, not again. Don’t—NO!_

“Murdoc?”

_MURDOC!_

A light touch to his bicep woke Murdoc, who lurched upright only to hit his head against something equally hard.

“Ow!”

2D rubbed his forehead, where a red mark was quickly blooming beneath his blue bangs. Murdoc blinked tiredly, rubbing his own forehead. 2D was sitting on the edge of the bed, his body twisted to face Murdoc’s. Seeing him there evoked multiple feelings, among which were annoyance, anger, relief, and just a touch of desire.

Murdoc pulled the blanket tighter around him, feeling naked despite the fact that he was actually overdressed for sleeping. “What the hell, ‘D?”

“Sorry,” 2D muttered, still frowning in pain. “Was jus’ checking on you.”

“Why?”

For a moment, Murdoc was afraid he’d been crying in his sleep, but 2D said, “You seemed upset last night.”

“Oh.” He dragged a hand down his face, suddenly aware of the pounding in his head. “What time is it?”

“Uh, one I think?” 2D shrugged. “Russel’s making lunch.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence for a long minute. Murdoc was about to ask what 2D was still doing here when he said, “I’m sorry.”

Murdoc balked, completely at a loss. “What?”

2D stared down at his hands, black eyes tired. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Muds. I know…I know you feel bad for Plastic Beach. I know that we’re trying to move on and that every time I mention it, it just brings us back to…not square one, but—”

“Square three?” Murdoc suggested.

“Yeah.”

“2D…” Murdoc shook his head, already regretting what he was about to say. “You don’t have to apologize. Plastic Beach was…” He sighed. “It was traumatic for you. I know that. I know you’re still mad. I know you always will be.”

“No, but I don’t _want_ to be,” 2D insisted, bunching the blankets in his fists. “I want to move on. I want _us_ to move on.”

 _Us?_ “We have, Stu. We’ve come farther than I ever thought possible.” He gestured between them pointedly. “You’re in my room. By choice. You woke me up, and I didn’t beat the shit out of you.”

2D giggled, sniffling a bit. “That’s true.”

“See?” He patted 2D’s hair, his heart fluttering at how soft it felt between his fingers. “We’re gonna be just fine, mate.”

2D grinned, baring his missing teeth. “Can I hug you?”

“No.”

His face fell. “Okay.”

Murdoc rolled his eyes. “Oh, fine, you big baby.”

2D grinned, wrapping his long arms around Murdoc’s shoulders tentatively. Murdoc returned the embrace and patted his back awkwardly.

“This is nice,” 2D said after a while. Neither of them let go.

“I guess,” Murdoc grunted. “Just to be clear, I’m doing this for you. I don’t like hugs.”

“I know.” 2D rested his head against Murdoc’s chest, sighing contentedly. “I love that sound,” he said, and Murdoc flinched. “S’like music.” He angled his head to look up, his black eyes big and round. “It sped up when I said that.”

“Alright!” Murdoc pushed 2D away, scowling. He hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “That’s enough of all _that_.”

2D laughed and stood up. “Lunch should be finished soon. You should come down and eat with us.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Murdoc waved him away, and 2D left with a smile on his face. As soon as the door was closed, Murdoc pressed a hand to his chest, his heart now beating far too quickly. He sighed.

_Just give it time._

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom isn't nearly active enough to satiate my hunger for 2doc, so I've taken it upon myself, and probably will continue to do so.


End file.
